In the pit of the dark, the one wolf howling for supremacy. The breeze was so mellow, it vibrates the sounds into a frightening echoes. My awakeness is nocturnal like that, so excited for the visibility of the moon, yet so scared that its gonna end so soon. I once addicted to the pain of my gut, I made decisions that I know gonna hurt me. Before I found the ending, before the pain strikes, you cure it right away with your curse and affliction. I spent days for prayers and nights plotting revenge just for you to stop the hatred with a word called kindness.
Even though at first, I thought love and kindness are so medieval, people and animals are no longer wait the blood to be served, they hunt and sacrifice. You changed those beliefs and rose from your own grave that you dig with your own hands after same kind of mine betrayed you. You weren't bleeding, you were torn to the core. Woke up from a faded memory, developed a parallel beliefs and emerged them into a smaller fraction. You wore wolf skin and convinced me that you understood.
When the sun rise and the warmth embracing our skin, I forgot about the hands that involve in burying the corpse. I forgot about the howl I made only for the echoes to reach your heart, it turns into a memory which I once thought a dream, had me confused between deja vu and imagination. Where was you when the lightning struck me? What was I when you see me screaming to the moon? Why, in so many sense of questions, i choose to ask 'why me'? Aren't you scared of past wounds anymore? Aren't you scared running from a creature like me? Aren't you tired of hunting a revengeful witch? We have been scarred before, then why are we here again at the circle of pain?
When I thought the will be question after question, you showered me with wisdom full of answers. Some nights where I feel the content of life went too deep. As if you dive into the pit of my mind just by starring into my eyes. I wanna kill the curse in me, but you tamed it with your thunderbolts. Every bit of past me was swallowed by the galaxy of your honesty, let it drown in universe of future, made me think about nothing but the future of me. And you.
Been questioning 'what are you', 'why did you left me alone for so many years', yes I did that, it annoys me that it grows regret in you. There are things that I shouldn't say or wouldn't do but that's not the case with you. I fought pack of wolves but never return home with any of them. For some reason I remain alone and sadly lonely. Not until you tell me about your world, how you met people who made you doubt, questioning your worth and shut down the brightness in you. When I read about the blood that flows when you want to end your world, your faith crumbled like unsteady graves and when you woke up from ashes like nobody would. I hate that I wasn't there.
The rain and storms did change me. The obsession for the moon is no longer in my gut. I am no longer enthralled by the day I can be who I don't want to. My alter ego disappeared in the flood. Now and then, it made me thinking how you can change my move of pawn into a striving knight in one blink of that lake of eyes. There was nothing there, but there is a sacred lotus inside them once you made a glance towards me. It is my reflection that creates a halo in you. I was one a mystical creatures which were purely symbolic to your life, that I didn't know about until you offer me a closer look at your particular fears, desires and values.
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